What It's Like Dating in Bible Belt Lesbian Land

   Here is just an FYI for anyone who is curious about dating in Bible Belt Lesbian land...It's fucking hard. There are so many obstacles facing the battlefield that already exists having to be forced to challenge every evangelical ass hole who tries to change me into a "Bible living" human being, that dating, as an almost 30 year old, just adds to the list of reasons why I would NEVER CHOOSE THIS LIFE if I could live it any differently.
   As most of you who know me or follow my blog know, I have been divorced for about 2 and a half years now. I am a deeply loving and caring person. I always see the good in people, and I long for a deep, loving connection. Therefore, I have indeed tried to date. However, I wish you could understand how infinitely hard the dating game can be for someone like me, living in this incredibly frustrating and limiting Bible Belt Society.
   First, where on earth am I supposed to find women who are Lesbian, and who have similar values as I?  I cannot take the luxury of going to a bar alone with my hair down, make up on, wearing something tastefully flirty and be expected to be hit on by someone who actually matters or that I would be interested in. Also, it's not as if I could see a beautiful lady and tactfully or tastefully casually ask, "oh hey, what's your name? Are you gay or straight?" No, my longing is to have a future partner find me, or vice versa, organically. But alas, the nature of what Bible thumpers call my "affliction," and what I know in my heart is true to call "my nature" keeps me from this.
   Therefore, I have tried online dating. This playing field is ridiculously complex. I have to sift through the heterosexual couples who would want a threesome. I have to whittle through the ones who want a one night stand. I have to include at least three complex words (most recently, my enjoyment of irony, dichotomy, and duality) to weed out the idiots. Then, via Tinder, I right or left swipe the 20 women that are within my age, and distance range. This takes me literally 5 minutes, and then I patiently (or not so patiently) wait for a response. It's annoyingly exhasuting. While I'm broadening my horizons to include bisexual women, my odds of success have been horrendous or regretfully unfulfilling.
   What I find the most frustrating about being with women who have been with men, and are also attracted to men while living or growing up in the Bible Belt, is that they cannot get over their neccessity of comparing me to them. I have been forced back into the closet because I am not a man, left out to dry because they went back to their ex boyfriend, deemed not good enough because I seemingly couldn't fulfill the masculine role of father or caregiver, and/or seemingly not good enough in bed becasue I do not have a dick. If it were not because of my great support system of freinds and my twin sister who love me unconditionally, I may have suffered from an incurable ego complex. But alas, during my time of being single, before I started enduring this proposterous game, I have found a strength in me that surpasses the idiocy that is Bible Belt Lesbian dating. However, no matter what, it is ridiculously hard and annoyingly...oh so annoyingly repetitive. I keep going though the same cycle, because of my unconditionally loving nature, to fall very hard, and very fast. Then I find my heart crushed, and fall gratefully into the arms of my friends and sweet sister. Without them, I am afraid of where I would be left. But with them, and the love and acceptance of my Creator, I can get up, dust myself off, and try again to experience the same comfort, love, and benefits (physical, sexual, financial, medical, etc) that my heterosexual brothers and sisters get to enjoy. That is all I want. I am different than them in sexual peference, but I do want to be loved romantically like they do. Wish me luck. It's not easy, but I'm still convinced it's worth it.