Embracing Flaws

   I watched Wild with a friend today. I watched it because my friend wanted to watch it. I did not have any real interest in it. It's based on a book written by a woman who backpacked the Pacific Crest Trail after getting divorced and wanted to be alone to figure herself out. Her mother had died, she had an abusive father, escaped life by having sex and doing drugs. Then she backpacked the PCT by herself. She was finally forced to look all of her faults, everything that she refused to see and deal with during her regular life. The movie affected me in ways I was not expecting. I am so excited to see society embracing and popularizing people's stories that are not perfect. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one that screws up.
   I feel like so many of us keep striving to be perfect, and are horrified when we fail...again and again. But guess what? We hear this all of the time but never listen: NO ONE IS PERFECT. Ah, you feel better? Let it sink in...really feel what it means. You have no one to compare yourself to, you have no one to tell you (whether overtly, covertly, or you just making it up) that you are doing worse than they are because no one is perfect. We all screw up. We all have baggage that we don't deal with that affects our thoughts and behaviors. The memories that scare us, that we feel control us, our bad choices, what others have done to us...that's all they are...memories. And yet, they can be powerful enough to destroy us. They are also powerful enough to make us thrive. We spend way too much time thinking about what hinders us, and not enough time on our ability to overcome. We CAN grow, heal, love, BE. We have all of the tools to do this within us, and outside of us. Sometimes we are just too scared to access them, or make ourselves believe they do not exist. I believe God puts many resources within our reach. We just have to take the step to accept as well as embrace that we are flawed, and bathe in the fact that redemption happens every single moment. I feel like after watching that movie, I have taken a step to sigh and feel peace with the fact that I am flawed. I am accepting another piece of myself that I have demonized unnecessarily. Doing that makes me see the world differently as well as see myself differently. I already feel less judgmental, and less judged. I also feel more ready to really look at my demons in the face and tell them to get the hell out of my life (pun totally intended). I feel more ready to give myself a little grace when I mess up, and to offer grace when others mess up. I feel all of this without feeling any desire to give up. I will never be perfect, but that's not my goal anymore. My goal is to keep learning, to keep growing, to keep striving toward a better me. Perfection is something we will never achieve, but a better self? That is vague enough that even the smallest change, or growth can achieve such a goal. I want to strive to be a better me, listen to others while they strive to be better thems, and only offer advise when they ask. We are each on completely different journeys, and thank goodness we are all flawed because now we all have something in common.