As Advent comes ever closer...I find my heart longing once again for community, and a safe place to celebrate my favorite liturgical season of the year. Advent was something I always looked forward to even as a child in the Methodist church I grew up in. I loved listening to each Christmas Story in the Bible and watching each candle being lit. I find myself yearning so strongly for a place to feel safe, to feel accepted, to feel support and offer it in return to my peers. I miss church so much, but still...I am constantly afraid. I have been invited to several churches, and my friends, this means more to me than you could know. However, the reality of my situation is that no matter where I go here in this beautiful state I call home, there will be some who I will make uncomfortable merely because of my presence. The last church I went to, with the support of my former wife and her family, still haunts me. Six families left because I transferred my membership from the Methodist Church I grew up in. Thinking back on that experience, I remember that there were some who tried to make me more comfortable, and some who were uncomfortable but still tried to reach out and accept me. Maybe I just need to have patience and courage with others who do not accept me at first...just as they need compassion and patience with themselves as well as me, as they acclimate to my presence. Friends...if you pray, please pray that I find courage again to step out in faith to find a church community. Pray that I can overcome my grief, anger, and fear that people won't accept me, and just be thankful there are some that do love me just the way I am.
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